Oval Office Gonk Briefing

Yo, chooms! We're starting a new article type that should drop daily informing you on what Orange Senior Citizen is trying (and failing) to do every day. That gonk in the Oval's been extra busy today, scribbling his name on some fresh gonk-level directives. First off, he's drafting an order to dismantle the Department of Education, aiming to "shift power back to local hands". Critics are already gearing up to challenge this move, calling it a direct hit on public schooling. Obviously, cancelling education is a gonk move, and it's totally not because uneducated older white men are a significant demographic of Republican voters this year.

Next, he's pulling the plug on U.S. contributions to the UN's Palestinian aid agency, UNRWA, leaving millions in the lurch. Congress backed this play, suspending funds until at least March 2025.

Now, let's not forget the previous stunts that got shot down. His attempt to end birthright citizenship? Blocked by the courts. The bid to halt gender transitions for minors? Met with legal roadblocks. And that freeze on refugee admissions? Also nullified after fierce pushback.

This gonk keeps trying to rewrite the playbook, but the system's pushing back hard. Stay sharp and keep your optics peeled for the next move.