News - March 3, 2025

Listen up, choombas. The neon-lit sprawl of our world got a fresh dose of corpo corruption, straight from the top-tier suits. First up, President Trump, the ultimate gonk-in-chief, decided to slap a 25% tariff on goods from Canada and Mexico, effective at midnight. No negotiations, no chill—just a straight-up economic sucker punch. He justified this move by pointing fingers at issues like illegal fentanyl smuggling and immigration, but let's be real, it's all smoke and mirrors. This move sent the stock market into a nosedive, with major indexes bleeding out.

Not to be outdone in the gonk department, Elon Musk's Starlink is poised to score a fat contract from the FAA. Despite recent controversies and massive layoffs, the FAA is bending over backwards to funnel creds into Musk's coffers. Whispers suggest that SpaceX engineers are cozying up as senior advisors within the agency, blurring lines and greasing wheels. The FAA's even thinking about ditching a $2.4 billion deal with Verizon to let Starlink handle air traffic control systems. Musk's tentacles are wrapping tighter around the system, and it's starting to reek.

Meanwhile, Tesla's rep is taking hits harder than a joytoy on a bad night. In Europe, sales are plummeting as folks reject Musk's politicking and aging tech. Once dominating the streets of Norway, Sweden, and Denmark, Tesla's now eating dust behind rivals like Volkswagen and Toyota. In France, sales nosedived 45%, mirroring a Europe-wide trend. Seems like Musk's dance with far-right politics and stale models ain't vibing with the Euro crowd.

But wait, there's more. Musk's been stirring the pot with wild claims about CNN being tipped off about an assassination attempt on Trump. He floated this theory on a podcast, sparking a frenzy. CNN clapped back, saying they covered the rally because Trump was set to announce his VP pick, labeling Musk's claims as pure fiction. Classic Musk—throwing out wild theories to distract from his own messes.

Amidst this chaos, Trump's administration is pushing the "Protection of Women and Girls in Sports Act," aiming to ban transgender athletes from women's sports. The bill passed the House but hit a wall in the Senate, blocked by a party-line vote. Critics argue it's a thinly veiled attack on transgender rights, while supporters claim it's about fairness in sports. Either way, it's another divisive move from the big man upstairs.

So, what's the play here, edgerunners? The corpos are tightening their grip, and the system's rigged against the everyday punk. It's time to jack in, hack the planet, and expose these gonk moves for what they are. Netrunners, gear up. The time to act is now. Let's show these corpo rats that the streets won't stay silent.