News - February 11, 2025

Hey chooms, gather 'round and jack into the latest from the corporate overlords. Seems the worst pair of gonks, President Trump and his top techie, Elon Musk, have been busy fraggin' things up again.

First off, these two decided to slash and burn the federal workforce. Trump inked an executive order giving Musk's Department of Government Efficiency (DOGE) the green light to axe jobs left and right, all in the name of cutting "wasteful spending." Musk, standing there with his progeny, got a pat on the back from Trump for uncovering so-called "shocking" waste. But let's not kid ourselves; this is just a power play to tighten their grip and push their own agenda.

Meanwhile, Musk's been throwing his eddies around, trying to buy out OpenAI with a whopping $97.4 billion bid. When Sam Altman, the head of OpenAI, told him to take a hike, Musk threw a tantrum, calling Altman a "swindler." Now they're both duking it out in court, airing their dirty laundry for all to see. It's a classic case of corp greed and ego clashes, with Musk trying to strong-arm his way into more control.

Not stopping there, Musk cozied up to Trump in the Oval Office, defending his ruthless cost-cutting schemes. They're touting these cuts as necessary to curb government spending, but it's clear they're just looking to dismantle anything that doesn't serve their interests. They've even gone after Social Security and education, slashing funds under the guise of eliminating "waste." Critics are sounding the alarm, but these two are charging ahead, consequences be damned.

And if that wasn't enough, Trump's been taking potshots at Taylor Swift, mocking her after she got booed at the Super Bowl. Late-night host Jimmy Kimmel clapped back, calling Trump "jealous" and pointing out that Swift has more fans and cash than he does. It's a petty move from a petty man, distracting from the real issues at hand.

So there you have it, choombas. Trump and Musk, two corpos drunk on power, making moves that could frag us all. Stay sharp, and don't let these gonks pull the wool over your eyes.